American Buddhist Net

What a beautiful way to practice any religion! Essentially they're all the same... Sonja

Ingrid MacLean
Times Colonist

Saturday, August 05, 2006

I was confirmed in the Anglican church but somehow along the way became disillusioned with the church and while agnostic, did not have any real feelings of faith.

In my 30s, my oldest son injured his eye and I was told by his surgeon that he could lose it. I went into an empty room in the hospital, got down on my knees and prayed that he not lose his eye. I prayed that my eye be taken -- both my eyes -- if only his could be spared.

My answer was instant. I was filled with a feeling of peace and warmth and a knowing so absolute that his eye would be saved. The next morning the surgeon came to see me and told me that while surgery went well, we could still lose the eye. I nodded that I understood, but knew in my heart without a doubt that all would be well. And three months later the eye healed perfectly.

In my mid-40s and still searching, I became interested in Buddhism and began to meditate, but not being a joiner, I still could not find that connection and faith.

LINK TO ORIGINAL

When my youngest son married I was 54 and wondered what I should do with myself. I had begun walking and spending time in nature and trying to live in the now. One day, feeling empty, I wondered out loud as I walked, "What should I do?"

Some time later while in a mall, I was drawn to the cover of a book on a sale table. It depicted a bright blue door in a stone building. Hanging on the door were scallop shells and in the corner stood wooden staffs or walking sticks. I was intrigued. The book was On Pilgrimage by Jennifer Lash (mother of actor Ralph Fiennes and six other children) and I was moved by her need for "time out" after a hectic life of family, writing and surgery for breast cancer.

I felt a longing to do something and admired for her courage.

Three months after reading the book I was looking through a magazine and noticed a photo of a blue door in a stone building with shells and staffs.

It shook me and I knew I had seen a similar photo, but could not think where. The article in the magazine was written by a young woman living in Toronto who had heard of a walk in Spain called the Camino and she had taken time to walk the last hundred kilometres. It had changed her life. I suddenly realized where I had seen the photo. It was similar to the book cover.

Around this time I had heard people talking of a book written by Shirley MacLaine called Camino. When I came upon a program a few days later on TV and saw a woman walking with a scallop shell hanging from her neck and carrying a wooden staff, it hit me. I must walk a pilgrimage and it had to be the Camino.

On May 1, 2002, I left Victoria to begin a walk from St Jean Pied du Port in France to Santiago on the west coast of Spain. There were many times when I had help just when I needed it and I had a sense of being protected along the way.

One day as I neared the last two weeks of my walk I felt a different energy in the air. I left lodgings with a fellow pilgrim and as we walked a thick fog enveloped us and we both felt slightly spooked. I turned to say something to her and she was gone.

I waited a moment and called, but she was not there. I walked on, feeling a strange need to be alone and to continue. A few moments later I felt a strong impulse to call out "Why am I here? What is my purpose?" Suddenly the fog lifted and it felt as if time stood still. The air seemed charged with electricity and I had a sense of my body dissolving and my being one with everything. The colours around me were vibrant and everything was vibrating and there was a clarity and I felt a belonging and a part of all creation.

I began to cry with joy knowing that I am one with all. I met my friend later that night and she said she sensed I needed to be alone that morning and so had stopped walking when the fog became thick.

Some weeks after I returned from Spain, I met a friend who had seen me off at the airport at the beginning of my pilgrimage. She said that she had something to give me and a story to tell.

In mid-May she was on a plane travelling to London and suddenly wondered how I was doing on my walk and she said a short prayer for me. She told me straight away that she knew that I was well and then she gave me a small package of crackers that the flight attendant had just given her. The name on the crackers was Pfeiffer, which was my maiden name. We both knew the significance of that tiny package.

I did find that blue door with the scallop shells and it opened a beautiful new way of life for me.

Since then I have had many incidents that continue to lead me into a life that has a deepening faith in a Higher Power that guides if only we stop to listen. I am reading Peace Pilgrim: Her Life and Work in Her Own Words and resonate with Peace Pilgrim's message and wisdom.

I know that when I need a teacher one will appear and I only hope that I continue to grow and can somehow pass on the love and faith that is given to me constantly.

Ingrid MacLean is a homemaker who loves to walk in nature and sit in silence on a beach. She reads and paints and is planning another pilgrimage in the near future.

The Times Colonist wants to hear about your journey of faith or your thoughts on issues of faith. Submissions should be 800 to 900 words. Please include a sentence or two about yourself at the end, and a photograph of yourself. E-mail to features@tc.canwest.com (put FAITH in the subject line), fax to 380-5353 or mail to 2621 Douglas St., V8T 4M2.

© Times Colonist (Victoria) 2006