Your Honor, this Complaint seeks declaratory and equitable relief on the ground that the Edenic Covenant was structurally defective ab initio—lacking informed assent, lawful consideration, proportionate and intelligible penalties, and enforceable scope—and was therefore incapable of valid or equitable enforcement against the original parties or innocent successors.

IN THE COURT OF EQUITABLE REVIEW
OF THE COMMON LAW OF REASON

MANKIND,
by and through its first representatives,
ADAM and EVE,

Plaintiffs,

v.

THE COVENANT OF EDEN,
by and through its sole author and imposer,

Defendant.

…

**COMPLAINT FOR DECLARATORY RELIEF, EQUITABLE RESCISSION,
AND STRUCTURAL INVALIDATION OF COVENANT**

NOW COMES the Plaintiffs, Mankind, by and through its first representatives, Adam and Eve, and for their Complaint against the Defendant, the Covenant of Eden, allege and state as follows:

PRELIMINARY STATEMENT

This action arises from the formation, imposition, and enforcement of an a priori covenant governing the conditions of human existence. Plaintiffs seek declaratory and equitable relief from a covenant alleged to be structurally unsound, epistemically recursive, and defective at inception, and further alleged to have been imposed without consideration, without meaningful consent, and under materially incomplete disclosure of its operative penalties.

Plaintiffs neither affirm nor deny the authority of the covenant’s author per se, but instead place at issue the legal and moral soundness of the covenant’s architecture as imposed upon innocent agents incapable of informed assent. Nothing herein shall be construed as a surrender, waiver, or abandonment of any claim of possession, stewardship, or ownership of the planet Earth, nor as recognition that the Defendant, by virtue of the covenant or any prior interaction thereunder, holds lawful title to, or exclusive dominion over, the Earth. This Complaint addresses defects inherent in the covenant itself, independent of any subsequent inducement, temptation, or third-party interference.

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This is very well-done and highly amusing. I dare say the Buddha, who was the world’s first well-known and still-known-about skeptic, would approve of this. ABN