Tunnel vision and mental illness

For a period of my life someone poisoned me with drugs that affected my brain and thought processes. I don’t know what the drug was but I definitely know it happened.

That experience is the basis for the following speculation: a lot of mental illness is fundamentally characterized by tunnel vision or what I might rather call “bright room” vision.

At the time I could not see it but looking back after the poisoning stopped I can see that my brain compensated for the poison’s toxic effects by ignoring large areas of information. This was not a conscious decision. It was just what my brain did to survive.

In this sense, my brain was in a tunnel or a bright room outside of which I could see virtually nothing. I think of the tunnel as fairly bright. That part of my world was clear enough to me. What was missing was the much larger world outside of the tunnel.

If you have ever been in an underground train station with lit tunnels going to various trains (like Grand Central Station in NYC), that is a good example of this metaphor.

Now, think about people you have known who are suffering mental illness, especially those who are not aware of their plight. Do you notice that for many of them what they see is like that tunnel? It’s bright and the way is sort of clear, but the larger environment around them is highly reduced. For me, it was more like a bright room with a fair amount of stuff in it and people and things going on, but all I could see was the inside of that room and almost nothing beyond. Outside the windows everything was dark.

I was not fantasizing the room or actively deluded by it as much as confined to it, unable to be aware of what was outside it. My brain was ignoring large sections of reality to hang on to whatever I could.

Consider a long-term alcoholic, a victim of self-poisoning, whose eyes still glow. I think what people like that see is a bright room or tunnel and not much else. How else can someone who has been addicted to alcohol for fifty years still deny it? It’s because that larger awareness is not inside their bright room.

Consider a narcissist in roughly the same way. I would maintain that they really cannot see what they are doing in the wider context of all the people they are harming because they only see the bright room around them, the bright tunnel before them.

Borderline, neuroticism, and bipolar, especially in the manic stage, are much the same.

I am not saying that all mental problems have this bright room/dark world aspect but I believe many of them do.

Incidentally, all psychologists and medical professionals should always consider poison as a significantly probable etiology for all mental illness.

Hollywood: Two more shoes waiting to drop

Beyond the casting couch for adult actors, two more shoes are waiting to drop—organized pedophilic abuse and sex-trafficking and Jewish supremacy, both of which extend far beyond Hollywood.

In spiritual terms, these are demonic forces that defile our society as well as our individual minds. They seduce us with pleasure and then frighten us when we try to break free.

Pope Francis said something about this on Friday:

The demons… start being part of the man’s life. With their ideas and inspirations, they help the man to live better and entering his life and heart and start changing him from within, but quietly without making any noise. (Source)


10/16/17 related: What #HarveyWeinstein Needs to Say to Bring Down the #Hollyweird Hypocrites Who’ve Disowned Him

10/17/17 related: An undercover reporter secretly records how the Israeli Embassy directs local groups

10/17/17: Former Miramax Screenwriter Posts Harvey Weinstein Mea Culpa: “Everybody Fu*king Knew” BTW guys, everybody also knows about the Jewish supremacy. Here’s a view of how deep that goes: Mountebank’s Monster and His Mom: a peculiar resurrection. Jodie Foster needs to read this book.

10/22/17: The third shoe dropping: 38 women have come forward to accuse director James Toback of sexual harassment