This short article by Jonah Lehrer shows an important reason why FIML works so well.
From the article:
The problem with the introspective approach is that the driving forces behind biases—the root causes of our irrationality—are largely unconscious, which means they remain invisible to self-analysis and impermeable to intelligence. In fact, introspection can actually compound the error, blinding us to those primal processes responsible for many of our everyday failings. We spin eloquent stories, but these stories miss the point. The more we attempt to know ourselves, the less we actually understand.” (Emphasis added.)
I chose this quote because it is relevant to the introspective practices of Buddhism and other disciplines.
I love introspection. But introspection without a way to check our work can and will lead us astray.
FIML practice corrects our (very numerous) mistakes in assessing the thoughts and intentions of other people. FIML also disabuses us of the errors we hold about ourselves based on our mistaken understandings of others.
The psychologist, Daniel Kahneman, as quoted in the article says: “My intuitive thinking is just as prone to overconfidence, extreme predictions, and the planning fallacy as it was before I made a study of these issues.”
I believe him. This is how our minds (don’t) work.
FIML will probably not correct your general tendencies toward bias and misplaced confidence, but it will vastly reduce the number of mistakes you make about your partner (and thus yourself). This a huge benefit because when you have clarity with your partner, you gain an emotional and psychological security that is deeply satisfying.
For Buddhists, FIML helps us to avoid the mistakes inherent in pure introspection as well as the mistakes inherent in accepting only the generalities of the Buddhist tradition while missing its profound experiential depths.
American Buddhist Net 