Consider one of your fears, hang-ups, neuroses, emotional problems. Notice how it is affecting your relationship with your partner and yourself.
If you are honest and observant, it should be obvious that your assessment of the above is ambiguous at best, possibly entirely wrong. Maybe some of it is true, who knows?
Since you and your partner have already agreed to do FIML, keep your hang-up or emotional problem in the back of your mind. During any ordinary interaction with your partner, assuming there is enough time, initiate a FIML query the moment you notice your hang-up is acting up because of something your partner said or did.
Maybe your agreed signal is simply to say, ‘FIML’. Your partner will then divulge the contents of their working memory. In Buddhist thinking, these are the subtle and very subtle states of mind present in that moment. Keep in mind your own subtle and very subtle states of mind as they just arose in approximately that same moment.
Compare your partner’s answer with what was in your mind. This should be very revealing to you.
When your hang-up began acting up, in Buddhist terms a form (or percept) arose in your mind. It produced a sensation which you perceived as the onset of your hang-up. By initiating FIML at about this point, you have interrupted the normal course of your hang-up. Your activity (both mental and physical) veered away from reconsolidating your hang-up to questioning it.*
After you have done this a few times with the same hang-up, it will change. Eventually it will be extinguished because your mind will have been shown there are better ways to think. In psychological terms, you will have stopped reconsolidating your hang-up and gained perfect insight into it. In Buddhist terms, you will have become enlightened to the emptiness of your delusion and that karma will have ended. ABN
*The italicized words in this paragraph are four of the five skandhas.
American Buddhist Net 