- FIML may look like low-hanging fruit, but it isn’t because the basic technique goes against normal linguistic behavior and can cause anger in someone who is not trained or has not entered a prior agreement to do it.
- FIML is based on simple principles:
- the basic communication group is two people
- the basic unit of communication is the “psychological morpheme,” which arises/occurs at a discreet moment in a conversation
- psychological morpheme are identified and discussed as soon after they arise as possible (within seconds in most cases)
- this is to avoid having them index large libraries of habitual thought and feeling
- partners must care about each other
- partners must agree to be honest about their listening and speaking
- this kind of honesty is quite simple; you don’t need to tell all but only what has bearing on what you said or heard
- if partners are honest with each other and sufficiently skilled to catch psychological morphemes very soon after they arise, they will come to see how fundamental to their their view of themselves and each other are the many mistaken interpretations they make concerning each other
- With practice, FIML insights can and will replace static assumptions about personality, ego, internal autobiography, and psychology.
- This happens because FIML practice will show both partners how mistaken interpretations occur and what their effects are.
- FIML encourages and greatly supports honesty or ethical behavior between partners.
- FIML ethics can be stated objectively.
- As partners practice more FIML, they will come to understand/experience how important basic FIML ethics are for both of them.
- FIML will not work if one or both partners is lying. A little bit of fudging will work for a while, but partners will soon realize that there is no need to fudge. Much greater gains for both of them will be made if they always do their best to tell the truth.
- Good ethical behavior is not hard in FIML practice because the “psychological morphemes” that are its basic subject matter are so small it does not feel threatening to talk about them honestly. Indeed, it is a great relief to talk about them and discover that they are/were mistakes, which is usually the case.
- FIML can be understood as a game between two people who have chosen to be honest with each other.
- As such, this game has rules that help partners deal with communicative ambiguity and misinterpretation as it occurs and in its smallest units.
- Playing the FIML game will clear up communication mistakes between partners.
- It will also clear up many emotional problems between partners, and the world(s) they live in.
American Buddhist Net 