We’ve all said things in the heat of an argument with our partner that we didn’t fully mean. Problem is, you can’t put the genie back in the bottle once it’s out there.
So many of the words couples think are throwaway lines do far more damage than we realise.
Studies show having contempt for your partner – continually attacking their character and belittling them – is one of the strongest predictors of divorce.
Those accusing comments aren’t just unkind, they’re deadly.
The next time you feel the urge to say one of these ten sentences, stop, take a breath, and try these alternatives.
Your relationship will thank you for it – and you might just get what you want.
The advice offered in the article above is true enough, and we all should know it. But it is also extremely shallow. Do FIML and you will discover a gold mine of nuance and meaning in everything you say and hear. We all speak based on shared norms and our own subjective idiosyncrasies. The stuff above is a species of shared norms. Your and your partner’s idiosyncratic material is thousands of times richer and more nuanced and more interesting. Only FIML will help you find it. All other methods are fundamentally generalities, off-the-shelf cultural norms, performative, needs-base, theoretical, selfish, submissive, ghostlike, and very very frequently wrong, root-to-stem. Only FIML can deal with this and fix it. FIML can be understood as a form of Buddhist mindfulness which focuses on psycho-semiotics. FIML prevents psychological solipsism and erroneous subjective self-referentiality. Even advanced Buddhist monks will benefit from FIML practice. ABN
American Buddhist Net 